People live forever in Jacksonville and St. Petersburg and Tampa,
But you don't have to live foreve
To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Once upon a time there was an Italian,
And some people thought he was a rapscallion,
But he wasn't
The hands of the clock were reaching high
In an old midtown hotel;
I name no name, but its sordid
Unwillingly Miranda wakes,
Feels the sun with terror,
One unwilling step she takes,
My fellow man I do not care for.
I often ask me, What's he there for?
The only answer I can find
A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "let us flee!"
A girl whose cheeks are covered with paint
Has an advantage with me over one whose ain't.
I find it very difficult to enthuse
Over the current news.
Just when you think that at least the
One would be in less danger
From the wiles of a stranger
If one's own kin and kith
Were more fun
Develops the jaw,
But celery, stewed,
Is more quietly chewed.
Be it a girl, or one of the boys,
It is scarlet all over its avoirdupois,
It is red, it i
And middle age ends
The day your descendents
Outnumber your friends.
Go hang yourself, you old M.D.!
You shall not sneer at me.
Pick up your hat and stethoscope,
Isabel met an enormous bear,
Isabel, Isabel, didn't care;
The bear was hungry, the bear was raveno
May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?
I wish to retire till the party's over.
Since three o'clock
Praise the spells and bless the charms,
I found April in my arms.
April golden, April cloudy,
Consider the auk;
Becoming extinct because he forgot how to fly, and could only walk.
This is a song to celebrate banks,
Because they are full of money and you go into them and all
There is something about a Martini,
A tingle remarkably pleasant;
A yellow, a mellow Martini;